FAMILY COMMUNICATIONS (1)

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers” – Ephesians 4:29

One of the key prerequisites for Family Unity is FAMILY COMMUNICATIONS: “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers” (Eph.4:29). Many challenges and conflicts in the home can be resolved through positive and effective communications between couples and parents and children. Proper communications in the home will enhance praying, planning, and pursuing God’s purpose together. Communications occurs, not only verbally – through words – but also through gestures, movements, facial expressions, tone of voice, and general appearance.

Ephesians 4 presents vital principles and skills for effective and positive Family Communications:

Peaceful Communication: Conflict is normal in any home. What will set a family apart is how the members respond to each other when circumstances collide. Ephesians 4: 1-3 reveals five attitudes we’re to adopt to promote a spirit of unity and peace in our homes: (a) walk worthy of our calling; (b) walk in all lowliness and gentleness; (c) cultivate tolerance; (d) bear with one another in love; and (d) endeavour to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Godly couples will aim to make their homes havens of peace. Family members will either be strengthened or weakened by words and actions. We must learn to communicate care to all.

Truthful, Loving Communication: “But, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head – Christ” (v.15). To speak the truth is to be honest even when that involves taking a risk: “Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another” (v.25). However, to speak in love is to communicate the truth in kind and gentle terms. Often it has less to do with what we say than with how we say it. We should always consider how we confront; the ways in which we can lovingly express to others how their actions affect our lives. We should examine our motives and attitudes in communicating our understanding of the truth, knowing that we can be a catalyst for growth in the lives of others.

Intentional Communication: There must be a conscious choice to “put off” past carnal, corrupt communication patterns (vv.17, 21-22). There must be deliberate decisions to be renewed in the spirit of our mind and to “put on the new man” in Christ (vv.23-24). This infers evaluating positive and negative patterns, to determine what communication model should characterize our home.

Anger-conquering Communication: “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil” (vv.26-27, 31). Anger is a God-given emotion, which sometimes can be the most appropriate emotion we can have in a family conflict. What makes us angry can say a lot about us, as this reveals our highest priorities and deepest concerns. On few recorded occasions, Jesus expressed righteous anger against: Prioritizing religious ritual over human need (Mk.3: 4-5); barring little children from embracing Him (Mk.10: 14); and merchandising in God’s temple (Mt.21: 12-13; Jh.2:13-17). The goal of righteous anger is to right wrongs constructively, not to punish. Anger should be expressed in light of our commitment to build up one another.

Edifying Communication: “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification…” (v.29a). Words, once uttered, can never be really taken back. We can build each other up with wholesome language as we consider both the right words and the right timing, especially when speaking words of correction. We must be intentional about building up others, including modelling encouragement and affirmation to our children. A general rule of healthy communication is to express three positive encouragements for every word of criticism.

Kindness and Forgiveness: “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving…” (v.32). Home – our most intimate place on earth – will be a greenhouse of beauty and growth for families that choose kindness and forgiveness, over bitterness and malice.