FAMILY COMMUNICATIONS (2)

“But do not forget to do good and to SHARE, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased” – Hebrews 13:16

Believers need to consciously cultivate habits of sacrificial sharing and FAMILY COMMUNICATIONS that please God: “But do not forget to do good and to SHARE, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased” (Heb.13:16). Effective communication is not a monologue; it’s about sharing. Other Bible versions use “communicate” in place of “share”: “But to do good and to COMMUNICATE forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased” (KJV). Communications in the Family will often be a sacrifice because we are expected to invest our time, talent, means, and patience to listen, empathize, impart, share, and understand. Too often, people simply tell, yell, dictate, or threaten. Communications in the Family should not be used to embarrass, command, or impose.

The word “but” is an additive to what was stated in the earlier verse: “Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name” (v.15). To accompany the Sacrifice of Praise should be the Sacrifice of Sharing: “But do not forget to DO GOOD and to SHARE” What this means is that we have a vertical responsibility towards God, and a horizontal responsibility to those around us, starting with our family. Weare not simply to offer lip service to Go, praising Him and giving thanks to His name, while at the same time, ignoring what he expects of us towards those around us. To “do good” means: “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Mt.7:12).

Doing good is something that makes the one who does good feel good as well; it has a two-way benefit. So does communicating or sharing. One of the principal reasons many people fail to relate appropriately with family members is because they fail to apply the basics of personal communications, including these principles of sharing and sacrifice. Communications demands commitment.

Effective family communication must be an exchange of feelings and information. If members will realize that time and participation on the part of all are necessary ingredients, doors of communication will swing open in the home. Differences should not be ignored in family discussions, but weighed and evaluated calmly. A healthy, continuing relationship is more important than one’s point or opinion. Courtesy and respect in listening and conversing are basic in meaningful dialogue and communication. It’s important to know how to disagree with another’s point of view without being disagreeable, and to have discussion periods ahead of decisions.

Effective family communication requires learning to listen, hear, share, and disseminate both apparent and underlying messages. Among the traits to develop, couples and family members must be:

Humble: “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself” (Phil.2:3). Family communications must eschew vain competition. Neither the husband nor wife always has to come first.

Alert: “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one” (Col.4:6). Couples must be watchful and develop observational traits, knowing when to speak or to be silent: “A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is!” (Pro.15:23; “He who gives a right answer kisses the lips” (Pro.24:26); and “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Pro.25:11).

Receptive: “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (Jam.1:19). Each should try to receive from others what they are endeavouring to communicate. Misunderstanding is simply “missed understanding”!

Proper Use of Silence: “Men listened to me and waited, and kept silence for my counsel” (Job 29:21). When rightly used, silence can be as effective as the use of words. The world would be better if men had the same ability to be silent that they have to speak!

Effective Family Communications are “well pleasing” in God’s sight “to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen” (v.21).