FAMILY DYSFUNCTIONS (1)

“By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau concerning things to come” – Hebrews 11:20

In a broken world in which ideals are rarely realized, GOD is aware of and able to heal all FAMILY DYSFUNCTIONS: “By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau concerning things to come” (Heb.11:20). This text captures the story of the twin sons of Isaac and Rebekah, a family plagued by favouritism, rivalry, and betrayal. Esau sold Jacob his birthright for a bowl of stew, a small act of foolishness that caused a lifetime of conflicts. Genesis 27 reveals details of this dysfunctional family. Isaac, the sensual father on his sickbed, blessed the wrong son for the wrong reasons, representing many fathers who live appetite-driven, self-centred lives. Rebekah, the scheming mother, favoured Jacob, helped him take Esau’s birthright, but ended up losing the son she tried to love!

God established Family in the Garden of Eden for humanity’s good. Knowing family is a gift of God, the enemy has waged a war against the home. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Even the church has her fair share of imperfect families striving to respond in a Christian manner to the brokenness all around. The word “dysfunctional” refers to the disordered or impaired functioning of a bodily system or organ; something that’s not working as expected. It is often used nowadays to describe human relationships – particularly marriages and families – that do not work the way they were supposed to.

This is the bane of many contemporary families. The dysfunctional family has been defined as one in which there has been a major breakdown in the basic relationships within the family so that it no longer functions properly, and is characterised by: Estrangement; anger – expressed or regressed; distrust; deception; and unhealthy secrecy, among other vices. One may find one or more of these traits in healthy families from time to time, but dysfunctional families have them as a normal pattern of existence. Although the term is relatively new, the concept of dysfunctional family dates back to the inception of human creation. The real cause of dysfunctionality was the entrance of sin into the human race (Gen.3: 6-12). The very first family presents the first portrait of failure.

Ever since the disobedience of Adam and Eve, every family has been dysfunctional to one degree or another, such that even the best relationships are less than perfect! Beyond Adam and Eve who began to play the blame-game, their first son, Cain murdered his brother Abel (Gen.4:8). Among Noah’s three sons, Ham disgraced his father by uncovering his drunken nakedness (Gen.9: 20-25). Abram lied to the Egyptians about his wife Sarah, calling her his sister (Gen.12: 11-20). His nephew, Lot, driven by lust, turned out to be a major disappointment, ending up in Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen.13: 5-10). The same Lot almost lost his daughters to Sodom’s seduction, and his wife became a pillar of salt (Gen.19:26).

The dysfunction in Abraham’s family advanced as he followed Sarah’s counsel to sleep with her maidservant, Hagar (Gen.16: 1-4). Upon giving birth to Ishmael, a parlous peace subsisted until Sarah gave birth to Isaac. Then, Hagar, again at Sarah’s complaint, was sent away for good, as mothers and sons couldn’t get along! Next, Jacob and Esau were born to Isaac and Rebekah after waiting for two decades; and a sibling rivalry emerged. The boys were different. Isaac preferred Esau while Rebekah loved Jacob. This parental favouritism was not hidden to the boys, who became lifetime rivals, rather than allies. Jacob, the shady son, connived his way to the birthright. The family’s sinful patterns of deception, betrayal, and cheating led to disintegration.

Jacob got what he wanted, but through fraudulent means, costing him his own family. He never saw his doting mother Rebekah again! Yet, God didn’t abandon this family. Shaken by what he had done, Isaac returned to the Word of God and by Faith, “blessed Jacob and Esau concerning things to come.” He blessed both sons, on the authority of Scripture, and in the name of the Lord. Beloved, however dysfunctional our families may be, they are not beyond redemption by God’s Mercy.