FAMILY DYSFUNCTIONS (2)

“Now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die!” – Genesis 30:1

But for the Mercy of God, FAMILY DYSFUNCTIONS are often transgenerational in Impact: Now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die!” (Gen.30:1). This scripture describes the beginning of a nasty sibling rivalry where the sisters’ competition for children produced the twelve patriarchs of Israel. Many of the families we read about in the Bible would fall into the “dysfunctional” category! It’s a hard task finding a model of what we could call a “Healthy Family” in the Bible! It’s a lot easier to find families with a lot of sin and pain than to find families with a lot of peace and harmony. Yet, we see God using inglorious families for His Glory. With the entrance of sin, dysfunctionality began with the first family and flowed down the lineage! Here is just a sampling from Genesis:

The first couple disobeyed God (Gen.3). Their firstborn committed fratricide (Gen.4:8). Sarah’s grief over infertility moved her to give her maidservant to Abraham as a concubine to bear a surrogate child (Gen.16). When it happened, Sarah abused Hagar in resentful anger. Abraham was passive in the whole affair. Lot, reluctant to leave sexually perverse Sodom, had to be dragged out by angels, escaping by a hair’s-breadth; but lost his wife to lust. Weeks later his daughters seduced him into drunken incest (Gen.19). Noah had a drinking problem, and his son, Ham mocked his nakedness.

Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob all showed favouritism in the raising of their children. Isaac and Rebecca played favourites with their twin boys, whose sibling rivalry became one of the worst in history (Gen.25). Their family comprised a worldly father, scheming mother, deceptive son, and jealous brother. Esau grieved his parents by marrying Canaanite women (Gen.26), and nursed a 20-year murderous grudge against his wily brother. Uncle Laban deceived nephew Jacob by smuggling Leah in as Jacob’s bride instead of Rachel (Gen.29). This resulted in Jacob marrying sisters – a horrible situation (Lev.18:18). This birthed the horrible sibling rivalry of the sisters’ competition for children, including offering their handmaids (vv.1-13).

Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, was raped by the pagan, Shechem, who then wanted to marry her. Simeon and Levi responded by massacring all the men of Shechem’s town (Gen.34). Jacob’s oldest son, Reuben, could not resist his incestuous desires and slept with one of his father’s concubines, the mother of some of his brothers (Gen.35). Ten of Jacob’s sons contemplated fratricide, but sold brother Joseph into slavery instead. Then they lie about it to their father for 22 years until Joseph exposed them (Gen.37, 45). Judah, as a widower, frequented prostitutes, so often that his daughter-in-law, Tamar, whom he had dishonoured, knew that if she disguised herself as one, he’d sleep with her. He did and got her pregnant (Gen.38).

The generational patterns of unhealthy relationships flowed down to the generations of Jacob, as he also had a favourite in Joseph, whose brothers, again in envy, sold him off into slavery! Yet, Joseph realized that what the enemy intended for evil, God used for good. All through scriptures, we see God’s Mercy in Messed-up families! Time would fail me to talk of: Aaron’s sons, Nadab and Abihu (Lev.10); Gideon’s murderous son, Abimelech (Jud. 9); Samson’s immorality (Jud.14–16); Eli’s worthless sons (1 Sam. 2-4); Samuel’s worthless sons (1 Sam. 8); David’s sordid family (2 Sam. 11–18); Solomon who unwisely married 1,000 women, turned from God, and whose proverbial instruction went essentially unheeded by most of his heirs (1 Kings 11–12).

Lessons from the many scriptural examples offer hope for those who face family unrest. Families that are not the epitome of harmony should take heart knowing that God specializes in redeeming messes by His Mercy. They are an opportunity for His Grace to become visible. No matter what happens in the world or in our families, man’s failure cannot nullify God’s sovereignty.