HUSBAND’S ROLE IN THE FAMILY

“HUSBANDS, LOVE your WIVES, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” – Ephesians 5:25

The Scriptures are explicit on the HUSBAND’s ROLE in the FAMILY: “HUSBANDS, LOVE your WIVE, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Eph.5:25). The God-designed Role of the Husband is two-fold: To SACRIFICIALLY LOVE and to SACRIFICIALLY LEAD, as summed up in these words: LOVE YOUR WIFE! That is the main responsibility of the husband. Every other responsibility is hinged on this fundamental mandate to LOVE: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them” (Col.3:18). The ‘LEAD’ dimension is signified by the word, HEAD (v.23). Let’s examine these two key words – “LOVE” and “HEAD” that represent God’s Designed Role of the Husband in the Family:

The word “Love” is the Greek word that’s most often called “AGAPE” – The God-kind of Love, sacrificial and unconditional. In this key verse however, the actual word is Agapao, the verb form of Agape, which expresses an ACTION. It is the same verb form of Agape found in John 3:16, “For God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten Son…” Agape, in its verb form, is best defined as an ACTION of unconditional, sacrificial LOVE by choice. The reality is that by this kind of action does not lie within the human nature, but “the LOVE [Agape] of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Rom.5:5). The believing husband must seek and trust God for this supernatural ability to love his wife sacrificially and unconditionally.

The husband should love his wife “just as Christ also loved the church,” meaning in the same proportion as Christ loved the church! Christ loves the church in every way and at all times. He always does what is best and provides for the church. His is an all-giving, sacrificial love that never wanes. Nothin can separate the church from the Love of Christ (Rom.8:39). His Love never changes even though the church isn’t always loving in return. To fulfil his God-designed role, the husband must crucify his self-will, and let the agape love of God rule his day-to-day life. The husband’s Love must be Sacrificial, Sanctifying, and Secure.

Sacrificial: Christ gave Himself for the church; He died sacrificially. The husband must be willing to LIVE sacrificially for the wife. He must put himself under her needs to help her bear her burdens. He must sacrifice his SELF for his wife’s good.

Sanctifying: “That He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word…” (vv.26-27). To sanctify is to set-apart. This is the husband’s role of being PRIEST of the home, ministering the Word of God to his wife, and also to the children.

Secure: “…For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church…” (vv.28-30). The husband must nourish and cherish his wife as an extension of his body. If the wife feels as such, she’ll feel secure in his love.

Next, Head: “For the HUSBAND is the HEAD of the WIFE, as also Christ is the HEAD of the church; and He is the Savior of the body” (v.23). The Greek words for HEAD mean: To lead or take responsibility for. God made the husband to instinctively lead: To guide by going in advance; to direct on a course or in a direction. The husband must set the course and go in front for the good of his family. If a man bails out of this proactive role, his wife has no choice but to take it over, which would be the beginning of a dangerous downward spiral that could be destructive to the marriage and family. 1 Timothy 3:4 also emphasizes this leading role: “One who RULES his own house well…” To rule means: To preside over, protect, guard, give aid, care for, and give attention to!

The husband’s two-pronged Role is to SACRIFICIALLY LOVE and SACRIFICIALLY LEAD. His role is to be there, to carry the wife’s burden and minister to her; and to be there for the family, to fix things!