“Therefore shall a man LEAVE his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE unto his wife: and they shall be ONE flesh” – Genesis 2:24 (KJV).
Right from Inception, the Lord God has given humanity LIGHT for MAXIMIZED MARRIAGE: “Therefore shall a man LEAVE his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE unto his wife: and they shall be ONE flesh” (Gen.2:24, KJV). Marriage was never the initiative of Man. God conceived, designed, and instituted marriage; hence it is central to His purposes. Marriage was instituted for God’s pleasure and glory, and for humanity’s good: “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (v.18). This lifelong partnership of a man and a woman – is good; indeed, “marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled” (Heb.13:4). However, depending on the extent to which divine order is understood and adhered to, there can be three types of marriage: The Maximized, Mediocre or Miserable.
The blissful marriage in Eden before Satan’s intrusion and Sin’s onslaught, was a maximised marriage; while the battered scenario after the Fall typified mediocrity and misery. The Maximized Marriage is full of fulfilment and joy; it is like heaven on earth. The Mediocre Marriage just manages to survive; the couple is divorced emotionally and spiritually, though they may be living together physically. The Miserable Marriage is characterized by bruised consciences, broken hearts, depressed emotions, and bitter memories. God’s Perfect Will is for His children to enjoy and experience the Order, Joy, Peace, and Fulfilment of Maximized Marriages, rather than mediocrity or misery in marriage.
God made for Adam “a helper” suited to his needs, not a mere mate or a sex mate (v.18,20). Eve was “custom-made” to be cherished by Adam as his treasured “Need-meeter.” Her mysterious making involved a complex, divine surgical process during which God anaesthetized the man to construct the wonder called “woman” (v.21). Eve was formed from Adam’s ribs, indicating her closeness to his heart; her need for a covering, equal but functionally-distinct partnership, and her delicate mien. Eve was not taken from Adam’s feet to be stepped on, from his arm to be a menial slave, from the neck to be a lifetime load-bearer, or from the head to become the man’s competitor or controller.
God’s Order for Marriage is that 1 + 1 = 1: Leaving, Cleaving, and becoming One. Leaving means giving all other relationships a lesser degree of importance. Spouses become best friends. The mystery of marriage is that a man and woman with varying backgrounds and experiences, meet, blend, and become glued, complementing and multiplying each other’s value, as mutual covenant companions, united in thoughts, goals, plans, and accomplishments (Mal.2:14). Ultimately, the maximized marriage reflects Christ’s eternal relationship with His Church: “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Eph.5:32). Today, thirty-seven years and counting, my darling wife and I continue to be guided by God’s Light for Maximized Marriage – sweet, holy, honourable, and exemplary.
Adetokunbo O. Ilesanmi (Meditations)
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