LOVE’S DIVINE DESIGN: INTERDEPENDENCE

“Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord” – 1 Corinthians 11:11

God’s Word provides His DIVINE DESIGN for MARRIAGE: “Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord” (1 Cor.11:11). Like many household equipment, marriage comes with the label “Much assembly required,” the details of which are found in the Manufacturer’s Manual! No matter how much we attempt to assemble the product, our best bet is to revert to the manual. To try to get the product assembled without having read the instruction manual would most likely result in a faulty assembly: “Have you not READ that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female” (Mt.19:4). He didn’t make them male and male or female and female! Our safety and the product’s effectiveness in use lies in READING the Instruction Manual that came with the product and following it.

In the case of Marriage, it takes a lifetime of work to put the product together the right way. Many people have plunged in without carefully reading the instruction manual, confident that they could figure it out. They soon get into trouble and frequently need to read and re-read the manual, if they have it and cherish it. Most of the problems people get into in marriage can be traced to the neglect of the Divine Design and of reading and obeying God’s instructions therein. We find the Divine Design for Marriage in the book of Beginnings and some other classic scriptures.

Genesis 2:18-25 reveals God’s purpose for marriage and many principles which, if applied, will enable us to build solid, satisfying, maximised marriages which honour God. It teaches us that: God designed marriage to meet our need for companionship and to provide an illustration of our relationship with Him. God knew that the man He created had a need, and took action to meet that need. Throughout the earlier work of creation, God surveys His work and pronounced it good, but for the first time He said that something in His creation was not good: “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Gen.2:18). Here was a man in perfect fellowship with God, in a perfect environment. What could be lacking? It all seemed perfect, but not according to God! His evaluation was that the man needed a human companion to correspond to him – inter-dependence!

Since God designed marriage, He knows best how it should operate. It takes three to make a good marriage: God, the man, and the woman. Marriage is like a triangle with God at the top: the closer each partner moves to God, the closer they move toward each other. The further each moves from God, the further they move from each other. As soon as Adam and Eve disobeyed God, they experienced alienation from each other and Adam began blaming Eve for his problems (Gen. 3:7, 12). Broken marriages always involve at least one partner moving away from God. So the starting point in having a divinely designed marriage is genuine conversion and a daily walk with God.

God acknowledges the human need not only for fellowship with Him, but also with a life partner. This does not mean that every person must be married. God has called some to remain single (1Cor.7:7-9). marriage will also not meet all human needs for companionship, but it goes a long way. God made Adam “a helper suitable for him” (2:18). The Hebrew word is not belittling. It is often used of God’s help for those in distresses and for military assistance. It means the husband needs and even depends on his wife’s support and help. But, “man was not created for woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake” (v.9). Marriage is not a superiority contest. The woman is like the missing part of the man. Just as a jigsaw puzzle is incomplete if half the pieces are missing, so a man is incomplete without his wife. God designed it so that the man needs the woman and the woman needs the man (v.11). Both are equal persons, and yet have distinct roles to fulfil.