LOVE’S DIVINE DESIGN: INTIMACY

“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth” – Proverbs 5:18

INTIMACY is central to the DIVINE DESIGN for MARRIAGE.  Marriage should be the most intimate relationship anybody experiences in life. It should be more intimate than a friendship or parent-child relationship. Sadly, many Christian couples often feel distant and alone in marriage. Some Christians have ungodly notions about and attitudes towards sex. Some think that sex was the original sin. Abstinence is not spiritual within the context of marriage, only outside of it! The account of the first marriage plainly teaches that God designed marriage to include physical, emotional, and spiritual INTIMACY – especially SEX. God is not embarrassed by sex. Part of his purpose for sex is as a means of enjoyment and pleasure.

The Lord intentionally structured Eve for intimacy with her husband, Adam. He fashioned the woman from the man’s rib (Gen.2:21). “Fashioned” is literally, “built” or “structured.” God, like a Sculptor, carefully and deliberately shaped the woman into a creature who would meet Adam’s need. Being built by God, she was obviously well-built – a real beauty to behold!  Adam didn’t wake up and find Eve lying beside him (Gen.2:22). Rather, God brought her to him. Picture Adam waking up and wondering what the strange sensation in his side was. He probably was counting his ribs when he heard God say, “Adam, you forgot to name one creature.” I imagine Adam looked up to see Eve, not in a wedding dress, but naked!

Adam’s response in Genesis 2:23 shows that Eve was a “knock-out”: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” These are the first recorded words of the first man. A more literal rendering of the original Hebrew would be: “WOW!” The phrase “this is now” is literally, “Here, now!” or “This one! At last!” – expressing joyous astonishment.  Adam was saying: “Now at last!”  Adam had been looking through all the animals for one corresponding to him and had come up with none. When God brought Eve to him, he literally shouted, “Eureka!”

Some scriptures provide explicit confirmation of the divine backing behind Sex: “Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets?  Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth.  As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love” (Pro.5: 15-19). The seventh chapter of Song of Songs is a flow of sexual emotions between two lovers, illustrating of how sex is a celebration of the relationship, a way to express pleasure in one another.

Companionship demands that marriage be an intimate relationship (Gen.2:24b-25). One flesh emphasizes the sexual union: “Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh” (1Cor.6:16). When a man has sex with a prostitute, he becomes one flesh with her! Sex is meant for marriage! Paul taught that the wife must give her husband the right of ownership of her body, and likewise the husband (1Cor.7:4). Neither should withhold sex as a weapon to get their way or to punish their mate. Married couples must learn to view sex as a ministry to one another and commit to always be available to fulfil their mutual needs within healthy limits.

God is not opposed to the enjoyment of sex within marriage. He designed and gave it to the human race, for reproduction and pleasure. Satan tries to malign God’s goodness, making us think that God is trying to take our fun away by restricting sex to marriage. But God knows that major problems erupt when we violate His design for His gifts. We must acknowledge sex in marriage as God’s good gift, designed for our pleasure, to meet our deepest needs for human companionship. In the context of marriage, we can thankfully enjoy what God has given!