LOVE’S PURSUIT

…it is not self-seeking – 1 Corinthians 13:5b (NIV)

Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another – Romans 12:10

Love is not selfish or self-seeking; it does not seek its own at the expense of, or without due consideration of others. Love is sacrificial. Love isn’t always “Me first”! The loving person, though not necessarily ignoring his or her own legitimate needs, will often put the benefits of others over his or her own good.

The myriad of problems in the church at Corinth were substantially rooted in selfishness and self-centred ness; hence the exhortation to love. It was as bad as church members actually behaving rudely toward one another at communion (1 Cor.11: 29-34). The injunction against selfishness is also meant for the one at the receiving end of rude behaviour. Rudeness hurts for the same reason people act rude – because they think they don’t deserve what is happening, even if others do. Jesus should be our Model: He was on the receiving end of much rudeness, but He responded well – with patience, self-control and forgiveness.

Love doesn’t focus on self; it is willing to defer to others. Seeking our own welfare upsets our ability to love. Love seeks the welfare of others. Those who prefer themselves desire preferential treatment and may even backbite, cheat, lie, and slander to serve their selfish needs. Someone said: “Hate is not the opposite of love, self-centredness is.” Love involves a constant conflict against the tendency to think more of me and less of others. Love is willing to sacrifice what it could legitimately have, for the sake of others. Love says for example: “I will deny myself meat that could cause my brother to stumble” (1 Cor.8:13). The ability to share, to give away, to “pass the ball” instead of seeking your own, is a mark of maturity in love, as it is in team sports.

Love’s pursuit is the good, the service, and the blessing of others. Jesus’ humiliation was the greatest expression of putting the benefit of others above one’s own (Phil. 2:4-8). Love is never engaged in the pursuit of selfish gain: Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others (Philippians 2:4).