PROPER PARENTING IN THE FAMILY

“You shall TEACH them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house” – Deuteronomy 6:7a

The Bible presents clear principles and Instructions for PROPER PARENTING in the FAMILY: “You shall TEACH them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up” (Deut.6:7). Parenting is a full-time, all-life ministry. The two pairs of opposites – sit/walk and lie down/rise – indicate that the parent’s responsibilities towards the children, cover any and every time, place and activity (See also Deuteronomy 11: 18-20). Here the emphasis is on the parents’ tasks of teaching and instructing the children in God’s Words, ensuring that they are effectively and truly written on their hearts: “TRAIN up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Pro.22:6).

Other Responsibilities of Proper Parenting are as follows:

LOVE: is central to all family relationships, beginning with spousal love. Parents in turn are to love their children sacrificially: “That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to LOVE their CHILDREN” (Tit.2:4). Parental love is shown in two key ways. First is the Love of compassion: “As a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear Him” (Psa.103:13). Second is the Love of careful discipline: “For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights” (Pro.3:11); “If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?” (Heb.12:7). Proverbs 13:24 says, “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who LOVES him DISCIPLINES him promptly” (Pro.13:24).

PRAYER: is a fundamental ministry of parents for their children. Abraham prayed to God: “Oh, that Ishmael might live before You!” (Gen.17:18b). David prayed for Solomon: “And give my son Solomon a loyal heart to keep Your commandments and our testimonies and Your statutes, to do all these things, and to build the temple for which I have made provision” (1Chr.29:19). Job prayed for his children regularly (Job 1:5). Jairus prayed for the healing of his sick daughter (Mk.5:23). So did a nobleman at Capernaum, for his severely sick son (Jh.4: 46-53).

PROVISION: “For the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children” (2Cor.12:14). To fathers it is written: “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1Tim.5:8). Parents should know how to give good gifts to their children, but not to spoil them (Mt.7: 9-11).

EDUCATION: “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the TRAINING and ADMONITION of the Lord” (Eph.6:4). Parents should see themselves as the children’s proper and primary instructors for spiritual training and secular education (Pro.4: 1-4, 10-12). Spiritual Instruction in God’s ways is alluded to in the introduction above (Pro.22:6; Deut.31: 12-13). Parents must teach their children spiritual truth from the scriptures, which are able to make them wise for salvation (2Tim.3:15).

DISCIPLINE: “You should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the Lord your God chastens you” (Deut.8:5). Children need the rod of correction because folly is rooted in their hearts (Pro.22:15). Proverbs 29:17 assures: “Correct your son, and he will give you rest; Ye, he will give delight to your soul.” To neglect discipline is to throw away the family’s security (Pro.22:6). Parental discipline, however, is to be careful and loving, to not discourage the children or make them resentful or rebellious (Col.3:21; Eph.6:4). While discipline is never pleasant at the time, its fruits are good and profitable (Heb.12: 10-11).

Proper Parenting will produce children who are arrows in the Hand of the Lord: “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate” (Psa.127: 4-5).