WIFE’S ROLE IN THE FAMILY

“WIVES, SUBMIT to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” – Ephesians 5:22

Paul, writing to the Ephesians, gave first place to the WIFE’S ROLE in the FAMILY: “WIVES, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the WIFE, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body” (Eph.5: 22-23). When it comes to Roles in marriage and family, the World and the Word of God have divergent views. However, in order to experience God’s blessings in marriage and family life, we do well to stand on God’s Word, accept our God-given roles by faith, and rely on the Holy Spirit to conform us to God’s Divine Design, even though it may seem to be idealistic or far above the norm!

Before touching on specific roles, Paul underlined the need for us to SUBMIT to one another in all relationships: “Submitting to one another in the fear of God” (v.21). Thereafter, he began writing about Order and Functionality in relationships, beginning with the God-designed ROLE of the WIFE in marriage and family. Verses 22-24 are statements of Order and Functionality that derive directly from the roles that God designed for marriage. The first key word that describes the Role of the Wife is SUBMIT, which means: To arrange under. This refers to order and functionality: “Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything” (v.24). Submission is God’s design for Order in relationships!

The instruction for the wife to “submit” has nothing to do with inferiority; but much to do with functionality. Let’s revisit the Genesis record, when God was finishing the Design of Humankind: “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a HELPER comparable to him” (Gen.2:18). God designed woman as a helper comparable to Adam. Within the Trinity, the Holy Spirit has the role of Helper (Jh.14:16). Yet, He is not inferior to the Father or the Son. God has also designed the wife as the helper to her husband, and this is not a demeaning or inferior role. The word “comparable” means literally opposite. God crafted the woman to complement and correspond to man, to be the counterpart of man, to complete the One Person of Humankind!

Let’s learn from the error of Mother Eve: Rather than submit to and follow her husband in line with divine Order, she took the lead. Rather than being obedient to instructions, she took charge. Rather than being a sacrificial Helper and Support for Adam, she assumed the roles of mistress and regent, all of these with dire consequences for the destiny of the entire human race!

Combining the insights from Genesis 2:18 and Ephesians 5:22, God’s design for the good of marriage and family relationships is: For the husband to be the leader; and for the wife to be in SUPPORT of that leadership. A wife’s submission to her husband is “as to the Lord” (v.22). Colossians 3:18 says: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” A Wife’s Submission to her husband is her Service rendered as unto the Lord! In essence, God’s design for the ROLE of the WIFE is: To SACRIFICIALLY HELP and SACRIFICIALLY SUPPORT her husband in the marriage relationship. The wife by her actions re-assures her husband: “I will be your lifelong helper” and “I support you”! Few other scriptures present qualities that enhance of this two-fold role:

“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear…rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet.3: 1-4).

“…and let the WIFE see that she RESPECTS her husband” (v.33).

The Wife is to HELP and SUPPORT her husband, and in doing so, to love, honour, and strive to be faithful to him and the family.