COURTESY

Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be COURTEOUS – 1 Peter 3:8

COURTESY is a Virtue of Love: “Love does not behave rudely” (1 Cor. 13: 5a). Love is courteous; not rude and unmannerly. Courtesy derives from two Greek words that jointly mean, ‘friendly of mind.’ Courtesy refers to excellence of manners or social conduct; the showing of civility, respect and politeness in one’s attitude and behaviour towards others. Courtesy is a behaviour marked by polished manners or respect for others. It may reflect in our manner of conversation, communication,  behaviour, and actions: “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one” (Col.4:6). Courtesy includes knowing when to speak and when to be silent; when to converse and when to listen (Eccl.3:7). It involves voicing your opinion, without slaying the opposition. It is amazing how the words “please” or “thank you” can soften a command; and a simple “sorry” can heal a deep hurt.

“Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Mt.7:12). God created all people differently for reasons and purposes known fully to Him alone. Regardless of how we perceive other people to be, they are God's creations, and it is His will for us to show courtesy and respect to everyone: “Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king.”  (2Pet.2:17). Those who have authority and are in a position to direct others what to do could avoid a lot of rebellion by being more courteous. Bosses need not be bossy. You may be the boss who can simply tell people what to do; but, taking the extra time to be courteous will cause them to want to serve you with enthusiasm. It is good for you especially as a leader to be direct, dynamic, and straightforward, but that does not warrant being harsh or abrasive. Leadership qualities such as drive and assertiveness should always be tempered with courtesy.

The pleasantries of life may not be vital, but it’s wise still to use them. We need cordialities in conversations and courtesies in life’s relationships. Though not always mandatory, they could certainly be useful in soothing the fabrics of living. Acts 27:3 records that “…Julius treated Paul with consideration and allowed him to go to his friends and receive care.” Julius was a centurion of Augustus band, in whose charge Paul was along with other prisoners; yet, he treated Paul with respect and courtesy. The same is recorded concerning Publius, an heathen chief on the Island of Melita, who received and lodged Paul and his folk courteously for three days after their shipwreck (Acts 28:7). Little wonder the healing virtue began to flow unhindered (Acts 28:8-10).

Much strife and animosity can be avoided by simple courtesy. We often have a tendency to take liberties with those closest to us that we wouldn’t consider taking with a total stranger. Some Christians address God as though He were their steward! Some spouses speak rudely to one another. If wives would be as courteous to their husbands as they are to their pastors, many marriages would be a lot better. Some pastors talk down on their congregants. Many officiating ministers in church find it difficult to utter a simple “Please”! What does it cost, to say: “Please rise up for worship” or “Please, have your seat”? Courtesy must however not be limited to our families and churches: “And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same” (Luke 6:33). Courtesy still calls us to hold the door open for another, acknowledge the presence of others, drive responsibly, greet cheerfully, and express appreciation.

Courtesy begins at home. A parent or adult who uses good manners is the best example for any child. How we behave and speak to others will greatly influence those around us. Beloved, endeavor to go the extra mile: be courteous with family, friends, acquaintances, and with God. Pray with me: “Dear Lord, PLEASE nurture in me in the virtue of Courtesy…”