LOVE’S DIVINE DESIGN: TEAMWORK

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body” – Ephesians 5:23

TEAMWORK is the basis of the DIVINE DESIGN for MARRIAGE. Husband and wife are to function as a team, but due to the havoc and breakdown found in many marriages, a lot of people have not learned this fundamental truth. Although the word team is not used in the Bible with reference to marriage, it is a biblical concept. A team consists of people working together, yoked together, coupled, linked and cooperating for the common good. Teamwork in marriage demands consideration, communication, consultation, cooperation, and companionship – all in Christ!

Adam and Eve temporarily lost out on teamwork, and humanity lost out! The best marriages are those where husband and wife have learned how to function as a team and lean on one another’s strength. If the man is better at planning, he maps out family devotions, outings, and vacations. If the woman is better at budgeting, she’s in charge of money matters. It is said that ‘Teamwork makes the dream work’! In a football squad, each player uses his talents and works with the others for the good of the whole team. If one player tries to do it all, the team suffers. If a player insists on playing a position he’s not gifted for, the team loses out.

Couples who start their relationship working as a team tend to move in better alignment than those who just passively saunter along. Research has confirmed that effective teamwork enhances performance and productivity. In sports, teammates who engage in outward display of cooperation and trust have a higher possibility of excelling than those who don’t. Teamwork is an attitude, a matter of the heart, and a practical relationship.

Ephesians 5: 22-30 is about the team spirit in the marriage. The best team is one composed of a Christian husband and a Christian wife. But every team has a leader. In God’s plan, the husband is the leader of the home: “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body” (Eph.5:23). The husband has a special position as “head” of the wife. This doesn’t imply freedom to dominate over the wife in an authoritarian manner; but to act as a wise “team captain” who recognises the wife’s strengths and uses them for the benefit of the entire family.

There are three in the marriage Team – a man, a woman, and God – the Designer and Originator: “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Eccl.4:12). Any disposition of marriage that omits God is a failure in the making! The attitude of teamwork must manifest in all aspects of the marriage. Spouses are like a lock and key or two blades of scissors. They cannot function effectively independent of each other. Over time, the children are purposed to become part of the family team - for a season.

There should be team work in the conjugal or sexual relationship (1Cor.7:2).

There should be teamwork in the rearing of children: both have distinct duties, not only in bringing the child into the world, but also in the upbringing, training and care of the child. The child is not “my child” or “your child”, but “our child”!

There should be teamwork in handling the family finances, which is often a source of problems among many.  In marriage, it is no longer “me, my, mine,” nor “you and yours,” but “we, us, ours” in everything.

Teamwork demands loyalty to one another. No third party can intrude into a marriage where husband and wife are loyal to each other, having respect for each other’s feelings, and refusing to embarrass or destroy the other.

Teamwork means being united in the faith. Unless both are in Christ, there is no basis for making decisions, and no guide for life. Teamwork means being together for life, in good and not so good times, sharing joys, pains, burdens, in adversity or prosperity, not pulling apart, not pushing against, but pulling with each other. It is a case of “me and you against all foes”!