THE WELL-ORDERED HOME

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them” – Colossians 3:18-19

The WELL-ORDERED HOME is built on the precepts and power of God’s Word, as a place of refuge in a messy world: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them” (Col.3:18-19). God wants us to build godly homes because our family life is important to Him.

The well-ordered home is a beacon of hope amidst the sea of chaotic relationships in the world. Ideally, the home is composed of a man, wife, and their children. In the blighted state of humanity however, homes are sometimes constituted by single parents or no parent at all, as in the cases of orphanages. Just as there are three classes of marriage – the maximised, mediocre, and miserable marriages – there are three categories of homes: the fulfilled or harmonious home; the failing or unhappy home; and the failed or broken home. Our Father-God specialises in restoring shattered hearts and crushed relationships, and rescuing broken homes, so that His people can: “live in peaceful dwelling places, in SECURE HOMES, in undisturbed places of rest” (Isa.32:18 NIV).

The Well-ordered Home is one in which every member has a unique and significant role to play, with lives that display the character of the New Man in Christ (vv.12-15). The essential ingredients of a Well-ordered home are as follows:

Jesus Christ is the Centre and Preeminent Head: “Let the WORD of CHRIST dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the NAME of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (vv.16-17). “The Word of Christ” is the ultimate guiding constitution, His Worship our daily practice, and His Name the recognised Authority. He is the most important member of the home.

The WIFE should SUBMIT to her husband: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (v.18). In 1 Corinthians 11:3 the headship of husband over the wife is compared with the headship of God the Father over God the Son. Obviously, the distinction of the roles of the three Persons within the Godhead does not diminish the deity or importance of any one of them. Therefore when wives submit to the headship of their husbands, this does not diminish their personal standing and importance before God. The relationship is not cultural but biblical.

The HUSBAND should LOVE his wife: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them” (v.19): The love must be characterised by commitment and constructiveness. In Christian home, love means being firmly committed to one another, regardless of how one may feel about the other. Moreover, the husband must do everything to be a constructive influence in the life of his wife, to build her up, being sensitive to her many needs – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. A man really loves his wife when meeting her personal needs becomes as important to him as meeting his own personal needs.

Children should OBEY their parents: “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord” (v.20). This command is so crucial that God made it the fifth of the Ten Commandments (Exo.20:12). Jesus modelled such obedience before Mary and Joseph: as a child, He was subject to His earthly parents (Lk.2:51). In the Old Testament Isaac obeyed Abraham, thus enabling his father to obey God’s instructions (Gen. 22:8-9). Obedient children are blessed!

Parents should LOVE and NURTURE their children: “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (v.21). The same command is found in Ephesians 6:4 but with something extra added to it – “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Although only the fathers are addressed here, it is understood that mothers are also involved in the care and upbringing of the children.