WISDOM FOR HARMONIOUS HOMES

“SUBMITTING to ONE ANOTHER in the fear of God” – Ephesians 5:21

God, the Manufacturer of Marriage, also gives WISDOM for HARMONIOUS HOMES: “SUBMITTING to ONE ANOTHER in the fear of God” (Eph.5:21). The secret of the harmonious home is mutual submission: husband and wife submitting to each other out of reverence for Christ. Harmony is a vital mark of true Christian marriage. There’s hardly a better feeling than being in harmony with those that are close to us. We were created for intimate, thriving relationship with God and others. God wants to equip and empower us with Wisdom to walk the path of humility and love, and to build and live in harmony with others, especially our life-long partners.

Harmony in Music is the exhilarating ideal that most musicians work their entire lives to continuously experience. It demands diligence, humility, patience, and unity between people who pursue the goal of creating scintillating music. When musical harmony is achieved, it touches those singing or playing, as well as everyone listening. Living in harmony with one another isn’t too different than musical harmony. Although it may seem like an elusive target, it is worth fighting for. It produces joy in those who pursue it and touches those around them. We’re consistently exhorted to live in harmony: “Be of the same mind toward one another” (Rom.12:16a); “Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph.4:3).

Based on the writings of Paul, living harmoniously requires humility, grace, pursuit of peace, not fighting for our own justice, and blessing those who hurt us (Rom.12: 14-21). Verse 18 says: “…If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” What would our communities, churches, and families look like if we all committed ourselves to these virtues? God doesn’t simply suggest that we pursue these virtues; He commands us. A life of harmony with one another will lead us to the abundance of joy, peace, and purpose we were created to experience, and glorify Jesus: “Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, that you may with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Rom.15: 5-6).

The enemy’s greatest effort to block the work of the Lord occurs in the home, first by destroying family relationships and then the family unit. Many couples do not recognize Satan’s silent and crippling encroachment into their unity and security, using the tools of contention, dispute, quarrel, and strife, to erode peace, corrode contentment, and destroy family solidarity. When couples love each other well and offer grace and forgiveness, they demonstrate Christ’s redeeming power to change hearts. When we live in harmony, we’re worshipping God with our lives in one beautiful, unified voice. God works in our hearts, knitting us together in harmony like a beautiful tapestry of transformed lives. As we spend time in God’s presence, He’ll fill us with the desire and ability to pursue harmony with the people He has placed in our lives, especially our spouses.

Although the Lord Jesus taught little about marriage directly, He did stress God’s original intent for permanence in marriage, when responding to the Pharisees about divorce (Mt.19:1-9; Mk. 10:1-9). The epistles provide fuller insight. In today’s meditation text, Paul used the example of Christ and the Church to describe the relationship between a husband and wife: the wife submits to and respects her husband, while he loves her as Christ loved the Church. That is, he must be willing to give up his life for her. Harmony happens in the context of mutual submission. The wife is not subservient to her husband, and should never be an object of abuse or violence – emotional or physical – but be valued, cherished and nourished (vv.28-29). Couples must care about and respect each other as persons in their own right, not dominate or control.

Individually, as couples, and families, Christians are called to look beyond the warped way of the world, to a better way – God’s Way, which for Christian marriages and homes comprise Love, Submission, Mutuality, Equity, and Intimacy.