WISDOM FOR MEANINGFUL MARRIAGE

“It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs” – Genesis 2:18 (TLB)

The Bible – God’s Word – is the Manufacturer’s Manual that supplies WISDOM for MEANINGFUL MARRIAGE: “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs” (Gen.2:18, TLB). This shows the Divine Origin of Marriage. GOD – not Man – instituted and designed marriage for the good of humankind. God made out of and for the male-Man, a companion, helper, or help-meet “suited to his needs” (v.18b). The woman was made to be valued and cherished by her man as his treasured “Need-meeter” and vice-versa.

The making of the woman involved a mysterious surgical work. The Lord God put man to a deep sleep to “custom-make” the wonder called “woman” (v.21). Despite this wonderful origin however, this marital institution has over the ages been going through crises on global and local dimensions. Just as Satan’s first attack on humankind was a siege on the home, virtually every kind of societal decay constitutes an attack on marriage. Most troubles on earth are related to and rooted in marriage and home.

The Mystery of Marriage is for ONE plus ONE to equal ONE: “Therefore shall a man LEAVE his father and his mother, and shall CLEAVE unto his wife: and they shall be ONE flesh” (v.24, KJV). Marriage is Leaving, Cleaving, and Oneness. Over time, two individuals of opposite sexes and varying backgrounds and experiences, blend, mingle, and complement each other, mutually multiplying their values (Mk.10:7). Marriage is a Mystery that reflects the eternal relationship between Christ and His church: “This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Eph.5:32).

There are two types of marriage: the Genesis-2 and Genesis-3 types. The former was the blissful marriage in Eden before sin invaded. The latter was the battered coexistence after the fall. God wants to restore the bliss of Eden in our marriages. Practically, there are three classes of marriage: the Maximised or Meaningful, Mediocre, and Miserable marriages. The first is like heaven on earth; one of the greatest joys in life. The second is just managing to survive - being divorced emotionally and spiritually, though physically together. The third is full of shattered emotions, bruised consciences, and broken hearts.

God’s Perfect Will is for us to enjoy Meaningful Marriage – the mystery rather than mediocrity or misery; one that fulfils God’s original Purposes for this wonderful institution, namely:

PURPOSE: to enhance our abilities to fulfil our God-given life’s assignments (vv. 15-18).

PARTNERSHIP or Companionship: “the wife of your youth…she is your companion and your wife by covenant” (Mal.2:14). 1 Peter 3:7 says, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”

PROCREATION: to produce for God a godly offspring – “But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring…let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth” (Mal.2:15a).

PURITY: to avoid fornication and immorality – “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband” (1Cor.7:1-2). In marriage, SEX is HOLY: “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Heb.13:2).

PROTECTION: to reinforce each other against every attack – “Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken” (Ecc.4:12).

PLEASURE: for mutual enjoyment between man and wife – “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love. For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress?” (Pro.5:18-20).

PERMANENCE: the man cleaves to his wife in a permanent vow, commitment and love – “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce” (Ma.2:16a).