WISDOM FOR POSITIVE PARENTING

“Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old” – Proverbs 23:22

The Book of Proverbs offers ample WISDOM for POSITIVE PARENTING: “Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old” (Pro.23:22). We can never be too busy for our children. We cannot delegate parenting! We are the most effective examples our children will ever have – for bad or for good. They are extremely pliable and teachable in their formative years, so quick to pick up our habits, traits, and teachings. Parenting therefore requires great wisdom which cannot be picked up casually. In midst of a noisy and distracted world, God didn’t leave us in the dark. The Bible is our authority from which we can glean tried, tested, and proven principles for positive parenting.

Verses 13 and 14 of today’s meditation text say: “Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell.” The Bible encourages physical punishment, although this should not lead to child abuse or bodily damage. Physical discipline must be done with restraint and love, not out of anger or frustration. Chastening a child won’t lead to death, but in fact save him or her from it!

“He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Pro.13:24). Even God chastens whom He loves (Heb. 12:6). Soft love isn’t enough. Using tough love doesn’t mean that we hate our child. Proper discipline is a sign of true love. Let’s note: The parent owns the rod – “his rod”, not other people. Disciplining a child reinforces in his or her mind which behaviour is proper and which is not. Discipline guides a child. A wrong action done consistently, if not corrected, becomes a habit that could destroy the child. Hurting but loving discipline today is better than future regret of neglect.

“Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction” (Pro.19:18). Discipline Now! Don’t ignore or procrastinate! The soonest we see a corrupt behaviour or tendency, it must be checked before it takes root and buds like a troublesome plant. It is easier to pluck out weeds than cut down a tree. There may come a time when disciplining a child can be very difficult or worse, impossible. Waiting too long can let the habit take its root on the child’s inner being.

“The righteous person lives a life of integrity; happy are his children who follow him!” (Pro.20:7, ISV). The parent’s example plays a vital role in child-rearing. Parents can’t teach something while doing the opposite. Actions speak louder than words. Integrity includes telling the truth and keeping our word to our children. We must not use lies to scare them or make them feel good. When we uphold integrity, our children can emulate the values of veracity, credibility, and reliability from us.

“Train a child in the way appropriate for him, and when he becomes older, he will not turn from it” (Pro.22:6, ISV). A person is only a child once in his or her lifetime. Once childhood is gone, it’s gone forever. A child is like quick-drying cement that can only be molded while wet. The longer one waits, the harder it gets. The formative years are really crucial. It is wise to lay a strong and biblical foundation while the child’s mind is still receptive to corrections and behavioural modification.

“The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother” (Pro.29:15). Disciplining a child bestows wisdom. An undisciplined child is more likely to grow rebellious, have no respect for authority, and even become a problem to the society. Along with spanking is the explanation why the child receives such punishment, and what will happen if it was withheld. What our children achieve will become either a shame or an honour to us. They are products of who we are and how we trained and disciplined them. May we fully fulfil our parenting calling for God’s Glory!