FATHERS’ HANDS IN THE HOME

“Do not withhold CORRECTION from a child, for if you beat him with a ROD, he will not die” – Proverbs 23:13.

The Discipline of children is accomplished primarily by the Fathers’ HANDS in the HOME: “Do not withhold CORRECTION from a child, for if you beat him with a ROD, he will not die. You shall beat him with a ROD, and deliver his soul from hell” (Pro.23:13-14). If we don’t disciple our children to follow Christ, the world will teach them not to. Such discipline is attended by hearts applied to instruction and ears attentive to knowledge (v.12). The question is: Does the ROD signify an instrument of corporal punishment or the Rod of God’s Word? Let’s examine other “Rod Scriptures”:

“He who spares his ROD hates his son, but he who loves him DISCIPLINES him promptly” (Pro.13:24). If we do not discipline our children, it’s doubtful if we really love them.

“Foolishness is bound up in the HEART of a child; the ROD of CORRECTION will drive it far from him” (Pro.22:15). A physical rod may not reach the HEART as much as the Speaking Rod of Correction, based on God’s Word. Micah 6:9b commands, “HEAR the ROD!”

“The ROD and REBUKE give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother…CORRECT your son, and he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul” (Pro.29:15).

These scriptures refer to the ROD of Correction, Training, Discipline, and Rebuke. As long as these are the motives for using the Rod, it matters less whether it’s a physical or other kind of rod. God delights in DISCIPLINE, not PUNISHMENT! Discipline leads to Life; punishment may lead to damage, bitterness, rebellion, or death – physical and/or psychological. We can ‘Discipline with Gentle Firmness’: Wise use of God’s Word and parental authority and example to guide children in a gentle but firm way. We do not abuse, but teach the child a lesson; and do not discipline in anger, but in love, with the purpose of helping the child change and become wise (2Tim.3:15).

Remarkably, there is no biblical record of our Lord Jesus Christ promoting corporal punishment. Let’s see His Pattern: “But Jesus said, “Let the little children COME TO ME, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven” (Mt.19:14). Again, “And He took them up in HIS ARMS, laid HIS HANDS on them, and BLESSED them” (Mk.10:16). The Master’s Pattern is that of Fathers’ Hands that invite, welcome, embrace, discipline, instruct, train, and bless, not hands that are primed to strike with Rods of Punishment. Discipline, correction, instruction, and training are indispensable, but not necessarily through corporal punishment:

“My son, hear the INSTRUCTION of your father, and do not forsake the law of your MOTHER; for they will be a graceful ornament on your head, and chains about your neck” (Pro.1: 8-9).

“TRAIN up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” (Pro.22:6).

“All your children shall be TAUGHT by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children” (Isa.54:13).

“And you FATHERS, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up with in the TRAINING and ADMONITION of the Lord” (Eph.6:4).

“FATHERS, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged” (Col.3:21).

We’re all God’s children and recipients of His Discipline: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?” (Heb.12: 5b-8). God chastens us primarily by His Word which is full of parenting wisdom of unconditional love, care, nurturing, training, guidance, and discipline.

Chuck Swindoll says: “Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” In more than three decades of parenting, my wife and I have proved that the Rod of God’s Word in the HANDS of FATHER and mother is more impactful than any instrument of corporal punishment.